I'm getting too old

heeey

I think I'm going to do my blog in English, I think it looks cooler. Anyway it's a new year, almost a new day again. Time flies by, sometimes I want things to go somewhat slower, I have the feeling that i can't keep up, but somehow you never stop because if you stop you die.. so I won't stop because I don't wanna die. But i'm scared things go too fast and I can't enjoy everything to the fullest. I hate that feeling because I don't want to get older I hate it now. Because I like my lifefase.. Maybe I don't want to get older because I have a vacationjob in which I have to clean the houses of mostly elderly people who can't do it themselves.. So I see how misserable they are and how lonely.. I don't want that, I don't want to be lonely my whole life, or a part of it. It breaks people down, lonelyness. And that's why I don't want to get older, and ofcourse in about 4 days I will have to call myself 17..

Anyway, am I the only one that thinks boys suck? Well they don't, but there is this one boy.. He is such a mistery to me, and I think he is sooo sexy and hot. But the problem is, if he feels like it, he lets me know how he is.. sooo I didn't hear from him like in 2 months and then he decided to call me yesterday, and ofcourse i'm a sucker for him, very stupid of me.. I know. And I can't get him out of my head, don't know why.. maybe he's just so out off reach and is that the reason that I want him.. I don't know, and the stupid thing is it could never work between us.. He lives in Amsterdam, I live in Dordrecht. That's like one and half hours away from eachother. Another thing; he's a player believe me, I'm not the only one that likes him. I have to share him that's the worst thing. Well and I can't do anything about it.. I can only watch and see him drift further and further away, to other girls that make their way into his life. I wouldn't blame them, I would do the same, but it sucks for me. And maybe I'm totally wrong, but this how I see it sooo.... Correct me if I'm wrong

*geëdit op 3 januari, door victor* Thank u soo much:D:D:D